Back to School Challenges

When my child came out, he began to stabilize. The school year before had been filled with an eating disorder, suicidal ideation and attempts that had kept him in mental health facilities. He was never home for more than three weeks the whole school year. That summer, it was with great relief that we saw him get his first job and reconnect with friends as he began to socially transition. It was like watching him come back to life. He was learning to love himself.

Then fall came. Going back to his high school with a new name and gender was a different story and I could see his newly found confidence begin to crumble. To even consider we might be thrust back into the nightmare we had just emerged from was horrifying.

Luckily, the school was amazing to work with. He had a few safe people, a counselor, a student advocate, and a trusted teacher—he could visit at a moment’s notice, and the school accommodated his name and pronoun change as well as his preferred bathroom use. He also had a wonderful therapist and a safety plan that was helping him manage. But even with all this, we ended back in the ER with another suicide attempt.

In the end, it was getting a fresh start at a performing arts high school that was his saving grace. Others choose to homeschool and others successfully create a new space in their old schools. Any of these options are tough and most kids will need parents who will advocate for them. So, this month, we’re talking about the back-to-school challenges that face our kids. We’ll share some stories, resources, and tips to support you on your way.

We’d love to hear from you. How did your child make it through the tough times at school? What solutions and resources were you able to find? What encouragement do you have for other parents?

I know for my child, this was a very tough time, but I also know that as a young adult, he has come a long way. He once was a teen who did not think he had what it took to face an adult world, but as he has embraced who he is, and survived those tough times, he now has a steely resolve to move forward. He is stronger than he could ever have imagined.

Wendy Folsom