Turning of the Light

Today is the winter solstice, the shortest day of the year. This marks the time of year when we, in the Northern Hemisphere, are farthest away from the sun. We often think of the winter solstice as lasting all day, but the solstice happens at one precise moment. This year that moment is 4:48 EST. Before this moment the North pole will be tilted as far as it can away from the sun. After this moment, the North pole will slowly, almost imperceptibly, start tilting closer to the sun until the time of the summer solstice in June, when the pattern will be reversed.

This precise moment is a turning toward the light.

Have you felt these moments in your life? Times that were so dark, but then something happened—a moment of light, that changed everything. Just as we don’t immediately perceive the change that occurs at winter solstice, we often don’t see the immediate changes that occur with a personal turning of the light. But they are unmistakably felt.

One of these turning moments for me was when my youngest child came out as trans. It was a surprising moment, to be sure, but we had been through such a desperate year before, one with multiple hospitalizations and suicide attempts, that there was hope that this declaration would somehow lead my child to learn to accept and love himself.

It didn’t fix everything right away. We were still in a deep, dark pit, but it was a turning point where we could start digging our way out. It was also another opportunity for me to turn my life over to God and learn more about how he loves.

If your child coming out does not seem like a moment of light to you, consider the following:

• Showing them unwavering love and support is a chance to show your child that nothing they can do will ever put them outside the bounds of your faith and love.

• Your unconditional love is the most immediate reflection of God’s love for them. It will build their belief that they are children of loving heavenly parents.

• If your child is struggling with mental health issues and self-harm, the studies overwhelming show that familial love and support is one of the biggest factors that will protect your child’s positive mental health.

• Follow Christ’s example. When on the earth, he spent time with those who were not aligned with the religious beliefs at the time—the outsiders, the sick, the marginalized. His work was not about judgment, it was about love and healing.

And when all else fails, when your own darkness and despair seems endlessly heavy, remember the light is coming before we can perceive it. It’s a pinprick of hope on the horizon. As you carefully consider this path you must forge largely on your own, choose each step with the hope of light, with the things that enlarge your soul and grow your heart. In the end, your tiny steps, and even your missteps, will create a beautiful, luminous journey.

Happy turning of the light day!

Wendy Folsom